The art of a FAIL


Every day, new challenges are added on moolta by daredevils looking to raise money for their favorite causes. While we hope for the best for every single one, every now and then a challenge fails to be completed. Obviously we want every challenge to succeed, but on occasion, a hilarious fail is born providing laughs to all of those who see it. So, today we would like to offer you the very best in FAILS. The art of a fail is truly hysterical and we hope it puts a smile on your face.

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thoughts on why Crossfit works

I read this article this morning about one of my fellow gym members and was blown away by it. I should preface this by also noting that Mike Lucca was the main reason I was inspired to even attempt Crossfit. Even though my wife was/is an avid crossfitter, Mike was the reason. I knew a little bit about Mike and his journey however I had no idea of the gravity of his situation and the distance he has traveled to get to where he is today. Mike’s story is nothing short of amazing. Mike is no doubt the main catalyst for his success, however he did not do it alone. The crossfit programming is scaled to anyones fitness level or abilities. The bonus to this programming is if you have dedicated knowledgeable coaches to help you implement it. We are lucky at Crossfit Southshore to have such coaches. Mike is not only a huge credit to himself but also to his coaches and the crossfit community he is surrounded by. The crossfit community, in my opinion, is one of the greatest assets this program has. A very tight knit community of sado masochists that encourage, inspire and train brutally hard together. I believe the difficulty of this program brings people together. Not in a “misery loves company” sort of way but in a “holy crap-we all suffered through and made it” sort of way. I think when you see others push hard, suffer and finish these workouts–you know you have to do it. Giving up doesnt even cross your mind. Doesnt even pop up in the option menu. You can either finish it or you can finish it. Those are the choices. I mean sometimes the coaches need to pack a picnic lunch because some of us are just dragging ass. Kudos to Mike for all of his efforts and success. I have worked out with this guy and he is a friggin animal. Never gives up. Mike and I will be shopping for Speedos by summer.

More thoughts on my new Crossfit experiences…

so, this evening after another wildly challenging workout, I am waiting for my wife and while I am standing there I begin to notice something strange. (please forgive my run on sentence).  I notice about five pair of sneakers being sold, plus a tee shirt and a $35 jump rope (i am the purchaser of said rope).  Not that I was unaware of the fact they peddled shirts, shoes, ropes and vitamins, but tonight I put it all together.  The people who set up this business model are genius.  I was looking around for the suggestion box so that I may add my meager “two cent” suggestion to what is an extraordinary business model.  Youre probably on the edge of your seat.  What could this jackass have to add to such stellar business planning.  In sales we call this drawn out progression of suspense a “pending event”. Something to really get your juices flowing. Well anyway here it is:  A new phone greeting that would go something like this–Good afternoon, its a great day at Crossfit xyz Fitness and Apparel center, how may I help you.  There you have it,  While these other chain gyms are busy trying to lure you in the door with $10 per mo. specials and then trying to upsell you on multi year commitments, personal training sessions, tanning, laser hair removal, pedicures, nutrition programs, laundry service, smothees–you get the picture.  The people at Crossfit charge an arm and a leg up front–no bullshit-(its $150 a month-“you in or are you out?”-thats the sales pitch.  Then they dont play any games with a smoothie bar, spray tanning etc, they just tell you heres the gear you need to do this right. Now you can buy it or stand out like “Joe shmo” trying to “work it” in your very fashionable Converse.  Good luck with that!!  By the time youre hit with this, youre close to $400 in financial commitment–(on ramp class plus next months dues) and you have made it through what is probably the most harrowing and challenging couple of weeks of your life (unless of course you have endured bootcamp) and you begin to realize what a sad sack of crap you are.  Your like “Jesus Christ, am I really in such pitiful shape???  Damn, I better get all the help I can get.  So youre like “Yeah, give me them new kicks, I’ll take one of every supplement you have back there, gonna need a jump rope (Lord knows I havent jumped a rope in like “NEVER”–i’ll need some off site practice), and please take my credit card and give me what ever the hell else I’m gonna need to be able to survive this hot mess.  So the girl behind the counter pipes up and says “Well our physical therapist takes appointments here every Wed.s, so I am like “hell yeah, sign me up for every Wed.s from now until I croak,”  You get the whole picture now.  Who knows? maybe I just overthought the whole experience??  It looks to me like these folks have it all figured out.  Be upfront with people, get em what they need to be successful (God only knows how much money I’ve blown on Big Macs and cigarettes) and then beat your gym members like “red headed step children”.  Totally freaking genius!!  I love it!         

Crossfit aint your grandmothers P90X

Crossfit is one of those things you thought was a good idea to get involved with for getting into shape, lose a couple pounds around the donut, tighten things up a bit. One of the first things they have you do is a simple workout, right at the begininng. Just a place to start measuring your progress. It usually involves some running, push ups, rowing some air squats. Simple stuff right?? Wrong. So wrong. I have never been more wrong about anything. Yeah I havent been to the gym in four or five years. I am 45 and in my heart attack years. But jeeeez some push ups light running a little rowing. C’mon, how hard could it be?? Really freakin hard. It is a brutal reality check. I mean these people could probably figure out how to make a “work-out” of the day (or WOD) from baking cookies to food shopping unf–cking bearable. The point is they make it all difficult. It sucks. You now realize how much “you suck”!! and then the folks that stick with this “crazy stuff” realize they would rather tough it out and “suck wind” for a couple of months than just “SUCK”!!! And thats where I come in. I started this program about two months ago. Middle aged, bald, smoking, overweight (a good 25lbs) and a bad attitude. As a former powerlifter I thought this whole Crossfit thing was a load of poop. I mean who the hell ever heard of doing these heavy ass power movements “for time” coupled with all kinds of stuff, like burpees, 1000m row, some pull ups. I mean “what the hell is that?” Who does this crap? who the hell thought of this? why and where on earth would it ever be useful or a place to be competitive. It turns out that just being able to be good at Crossfit is a major and on going accomplishment. I mean this shit is such a shock to your systems, your body doesnt know whether to comply, press on, PUKE or just plain give up. Dream up the most difficult work out or practice a coach may have put you through and it couldnt hold a match to this crap. Every workout is a “Suckfest”. I am still trying to process why I would even want to subject myself to this jarring, brutal “Suckfest”. Plus you have to pay through the ass to have these people torture you. Oh yeah, this is a $150 per month deal, yup, you read it correctly, $1800 per year. Holy freakin financial ouch!! Especially from a guy that never paid more than $400 per yr at any gym. The truth is, that it is worth every penny. I happen to attend an awesome box (aka gym). What you learn, how you are coached, educated and motivated is unparalleled by anything i have ever encountered. This program is a game changer for most people. My lovely wife who is 14 years my junior has been doing this for about 18 months has made incredible strides both physically and mentally. She is amazing at it. She is also one of the main reasons I have attended this “Suckfest”. More to come later on my experiences with Crossfit….